Redefinition Coaching

Finding Yourself

Lilly Vercellotti

How do you “find” yourself? And, what does “finding yourself” mean to you? Is there a process, or a prescribed set of rules that can help us find ourselves? Is it the same process across the board or do we have to tackle this journey individually based on our unique personalities and life experiences?

I believe that finding yourself must be done individually.

But, how do we do that? First, we need to set aside time to get to know ourselves. Just as you would invest time getting to know someone you are starting a new relationship with, you need to invest time discovering the deeper parts of yourself. Who are “you”? What do you truly like or dislike? What drives you crazy and what gives you joy?

Can you confidently say that you know yourself at this point in your life or do you sometimes feel like you don’t really know the person you see in the mirror?

The Process of Finding Yourself 

When I was younger, I saw life as a linear path. School, graduation, work, marriage, children, work, retirement, and death. Goodbye. Well done.

When people talk about a person's life, these are the “stages” that usually get mentioned. These stages of  human development/lifespan are thoroughly researched and are the subjects of many theses, books and other academic publications. But in reality, life is often not a smooth, linear path.

How do you respond when you encounter changes or disappointment?  What do you do when faced with a sudden health problem even though you lead a healthy lifestyle, or are not offered a job because you happened to be the second-best candidate, or have yet to find a partner for the marriage you want? What do you do when your plans get derailed? 

1st! determine where you are, look inward,  and assess your situation. 

2nd! Stop comparing and start looking at  you. 

3rd! Forgive yourself and build on your strengths. 

4th!  Surround yourself with love, let family and friends see you for your true value.

Perhaps, you might take a minute to wander around and figure out if this new place (or state of being/mind) isn’t so bad, after all.

After becoming more familiar with your surroundings, you might even decide that you like this new place and situation. This might prompt you to ask yourself: Is my original destination the best place for me, or perhaps this new destination, the "here and now", is where I am supposed to be after all.


Ready for the next step?


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